Kitty Chat

As a joint Birthday Treat for myself and big kitten, last month we went to mercredi lunch at this particular Chinese Buffet restaurant in St Brieuc. (They have sushi! AND wasabi!) It’s really good, extremely fresh, highly popular, always busy and at 11 euros for adults and 7 for children at lunchtime, it’s an affordable treat every few months or so. I can stuff my cake-hole with Dim Sum (my one fatal weakness, good Dim Sum… ok, that and sushi,) there is egg-drop soup, Thai-Beef salad, lots of different (and changing) main course things like Caramel Pork, Chicken with Wood-Ear Mushrooms and crunchy, crispy hot nems… with nice lettuce and delicious fresh mint and dipping sauce. Oooo! Plus there is serve-yourself ice cream for afters and litchi (or eyeballs) and that gummy sesame confection so popular here in Asian eateries. The girls love this place because they can choose the meat and veg they want and then watch it being stir-fried in a big wok over a fierce gas fire; all steam, and flames and noise – toss toss! A bit of drama with your meal.

Anyway, little kitten and I were sitting alone while the others were off getting refills and she noticed a sign on the wall. “Mummy? What’s a WC?” Amused, I asked her, “Well, what do you think it stands for?” She puzzled at the pictogram showing a person in a dress, a person wearing trousers, a child and a wheelchair. “Woman, child, wheelchair? What about the man, Mummy?” Hmm, good rationale. “But, this is France, so… the sign wouldn’t be in English, would it?” More brow furrowing. “OK, it’s pronounced Vey-cey”, “Oh! Toilets!” she brightened. “Didn’t you ever wonder what that meant? I mean it’s actually doubla-vey-cey, but we shorten in to vey-cey. It actually stands for water closet, see? WC or water closet. That’s an English term they use in the UK and it means toilet.”

Big kitten returned to the table and little kitten gave me ‘the eye’.  She obviously wanted to quiz her big sister with her newfound knowledge. “Heh, M… see that sign on the wall? Do you know what it stands for? Her sister looked and then thought about it. ”Could it be… no. Hmmm.” Then a notion came into her head, she sat up straight, blushed and leaned in close to whisper with raised eyebrows and a cheeky grin, “Willy and Couscous?”

It was all I could do not to fall onto the floor and roll about laughing.

Explanation is in order, I think. While at home, we use the correct terms for body parts, a penis is a penis, a vagina is a vagina, however, out in public, we use more delicate and less ‘offensive’ terms. A man’s bit is a willy and a woman’s is known as couscous. I know.. I know… but I made that up years ago when my Clockwork Tomcat was about three and have used it ever since. Seriously. AND I have used it with the girls since year dot. The girls know the difference, I mean we DO use the kibbled semolina product known as couscous as a feculent quite often but the slang term has always been used as well.

How was I to know we would end up in France where Couscous evenings and Couscous as a plat du jour are so prevalent… (snicker)