Kitty Chat

What is a Catch 22? Here is one definition:

A no-win dilemma or paradox, similar to damned if I do, damned if I don't. For example, You can't get a job without experience, but you can't get experience unless you have a job—it's Catch-22. The term gained currency as the title of a 1961 war novel by Joseph Heller, who referred to an Air Force rule whereby a pilot continuing to fly combat missions without asking for relief is regarded as insane, but is considered sane enough to continue flying if he does make such a request.

This post is about my own, personal Catch 22. Some background first is in order.

About, oh, 12 years ago, possibly just after my accident that broke my leg in two, I began having trouble with my back. I didn't notice it so much because of the constant pain in my leg as I began to walk again, but it was still there as a dull ache, even then, like a muscle that had been overworked. I remember remarking on it once to my Osteopath at UCSD Medical Center. He said it could be something that occured during the accident and they could look at it later if it still troubled me.

Well, it has gotten to the point where it is indeed troubling me.

I have constant pain in my neck, left shoulder, upper back (thorasic) and lower back (lumbar) areas. It has been plaguing me and getting worse for years. It has now reached such a cresendo that I can't stand it. It just suddenly got worse in the last few months, around about June, I think. I always went to a Chiropractor in the States which relieved the pain, I haven't been to one regularly since coming to the UK in '96 as I simply couldn't afford paying for treatment. Chiropractic isn't covered by the NHS.

So here I am in France and it's been getting worse. It makes me sharp and impossible to be around, I'm sure. I complained to Séverine about my back after she told me that her husband had seen a kinesiotherapist that had done wonders for the pain he was experiencing in his back and shoulders.

'You should go, it's here in Kleg. Just past Shopi, down from the canteen.'

Yeah, I'd love to have massage therapy but I can't afford that. He was sent since he had a work injury.

'Ask your doctor, he may refer you, then it will be covered on the Carte Vitale.'

So I dutily tootled off to my wonderful Doctor LeMarchand who gave me a referral for ten treatments and a prescription for some pain meds, cocodomal, 30 mg codeine with 500 mg paracetamol.

The kinesiotherapist took some medical history, asked about what was affecting me now, what was going on in my life and then said, "Take your clothes off, please." This is still jarring to me. French doctors see no problem with just standing there as you struggle out of jeans, shoes, socks and blouse. No little paper dress, just you and the doctor with your bra and knickers providing feeble modesty. 

He did a lot of poking on my back then asked me to lay down. He adjusted my back, thorasic and lumber but didn't touch my neck. "We need to do an x-ray first, and some blood tests, I believe you have developed arthritis there and in your shoulder. The back is adjusted now, it is pas grave, it will get better quickly. But your neck and shoulders are serious, this is where we have to focus."

Arthritis? I'm only 47!

"It can come about because of a trauma, an accident or extreme stress and as you have told me, you have experienced all of these lately, non?"

Ok, gotta agree with you there.

"Try to take the pain medication only at night, so you can sleep. Try not to have it in the day."

Why? I wondered. Well, now I know.

If I take it at night, it takes the edge off the pain so I can get to sleep. Coupled with a glass or three of wine and I can sleep soundly, (or pass-out more like)...  but it's just hard to wake up in the morning.

If I don't take it at night, like tonight, I have no hope of falling asleep the pain is so great, I can never seem to get comfortable enough to fall asleep. If I do manage to drop off, and I move in the night, the knife of pain jolts me straight back awake.

If I take it in the day, it makes me drowsy and stupid and I find it hard to concentrate. On the other hand, the pain is managable.

If I don't take it in the day, I can't move my left arm or turn my neck without shooting pain across my upper back and neck and an incredible sharp aching that encompasses my left shoulder. It really does bring tears to my eyes it hurts so much.

So do I take the pain relief and be pain-free but stupid or not take it and be in pain and be a pain...????

There you go, Catch 22.

Just so you know, Kitty is planning on being a bit stupid for awhile.